A MUCH Needed Thankful Heart

This seems pretty personal, but I feel like I need a little accountability here. And it seems writing something on my blog for the whole world to see is quite the accountability partner.... And so...
I've decided that I am a pretty cynical person. I always seem to see the glass as half empty. There are definitely moments were I am grateful and can see the good, but lately I just seem to always be this grumpy wife and mother. My thinking is the problem comes from a lack of thankfulness. And so, I have decided I need to make an effort to begin this new year with a grateful attitude. Afterall, I have a MILLION things to be grateful for. TRUELY. Not so sure how much I will be able to blog about this, but I'm going to make an effort to daily write down things I am thankful for (a practice I have heard so much about lately and NOW is the time to implement this practice). A thankful heart is MUCH needed in my life right now. I can't continue on being this way. For the sake of my relationship with my husband, my children, and MOST importantly, my GOD, I MUST do this. My attitude as the "keeper of this household" affects everyone here and I have got to change. Without further ado... here's the beginning.

#1 I'm thankful for a safe 19 hour road trip home from Nebraska. Cars can be dangerous and I am so grateful we made it home safely.
#2 I'm thankful for a good reliable car the Lord has blessed us with which keeps the anxiety of traveling to a minimum! ;)
#3 I'm thankful for this moment right now. Zeke is sleeping away and Clay is entertained momentarily by a video which gives mommy this quiet moment to begin something I have needed to do for a LONG time.
#4 Because I have been thinking about this, I decided I wanted to read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Volskamp. Just posted on facebook asking if someone had it an BOOM a few minutes later I'm picking it up TONIGHT! Thanks God for Your provision, even in the small stuff!

too cute!

So, I'm potty training clay (will have to do a whole other blog about that one!). and on the potty this morning I told him to push some peepee out and his response was, "Mom, sometimes it does it all by itself."

Zeke is 3 Months and Clay is (almost) 2 1/2!

Well, my baby boy is 3 months old! He is no longer my little newborn and is now my little infant! And boy does he act like it! I have not really been doing tummy time a whole lot because, well, he doesn't really like it and he is a little spitter-upper! On his 3 month bday, I decided to give him a little tummy time and as soon as I put him down he rolled from his tummy to his back. Of course, like all moms, I was like, hum, did he really just roll over? Maybe I helped him when I put him down, so I did it again and he rolled again! It was then that I realized that our little Zeke is not just going to be this little baby that eats, sleeps and poops all the time, he is going to grow and move and talk and walk, etc! And it all begins with a little roll! Craziness! Clay was a little behind in all the physical development stuff, so having a 3 month old roll seems really early to me! Plus he has been really trying to roll from his back to him tummy. He can make it all the way to his side and almost over, but not quite yet ;) It's been fun getting to know Zeke better. He loves attention. Often when he is fussy, all you have to do it give him a little attention and then he is fine! He is a smiley little guy, but of course, I get most of the smiles ;) He has really started to giggle which is always adorable! He seems to like all the typical things babies like ( and Clay hated) . Like his baby swing, the bath, and (my personal favorite) a paci! I am still amazed that I can just rock him for a couple minutes, give him his paci, lay him down and he goes to sleep without a peep! Never knew babies could be like that! He is such a sweet little guy! Here are his 3 month stats:
12lbs. 4oz. -50th perc.
24 inches 50th perc.
A pretty average baby ;)
And now for the big brother... Oh our little Clay is probably the most adorable 2 year old in the world ;) He has the sweetest personality. He is SUCH a happy little guy. Seriously, most of his day is spent with a smile on his face. All you have to do is look at him and he will smile at you! He LOVES attention. Really! he will do anything for your attention. His newest thing is his "surprised face" (shown in the brother picture) , which I think is absolutely hilarious! So he often looks at me through out the day and does this face just to make me laugh! too funny. He is a really compliant child. I rarely have to put him in time out. Really all I have to say is, "Clay are you going to listen and obey?" and he usually obeys! I know this is not typical for a 2 year old. Once he was getting close to 2, I was a little nervous about the "terrible twos" but it has been nothing but a pleasure. I am LOVING the twos. He is talking up a storm which is the best part! He comes up with the cutest things! Here are his 2 1/2 years stats:
29 lbs 25th to 50th perc.
37" 50th to 75th perc.
ok, enough bragging about my kiddos! I'll just leave you with a pic...

From Pallet to Bookshelves!

I was introduced to pinterest.com about a month or so ago. It's been so fun to find all these great ideas of really creative things to make or do. One project I really wanted to do was make bookshelves for Clay (and eventually Zeke) out of a pallet. Knowing that Rob could get a pallet from his work for free, this wound be a really inexpensive but COOL project! We have a regular bookshelf in Clay's room for his toys and books, but all his books had found their way into a HUGE pile on the floor by the rocking chair. Clay liked to have easy access to his books and wanted to be able to see the front covers to know what book it was instead of just the binding. So, I knew these book shelves would be PERFECT! Rob's parents came last weekend and Rob took some time off work, (and Rob's parent like to help with projects) so I knew it was time for our first pinterest project! And they turned out AWESOME!! They are adorable and Clay really likes them and I LOVE not having all the books in a huge pile! If you have little ones and have access to a free pallet, this is so worth it... Here are some picks...
The before picture!Clay had to get in on all the action! Painting them was a family event!And the after! How cute are these! Can you believe that they were made from a pallet?!

Clay was SO excited!

Zeke is Two Months!

Well, my little 2 month old is 11 lbs. and 23 1/4 inches long, both in the 50th percentile! At about 6 weeks Zeke started smiling! I'd like to say I got the first smile, but Rob did! I didn't believe that Rob got a real smile until later that evening I got one too! And now he's starting to smile more and more! He is also starting to try to "talk" a little too! Everyday he talks more and more! It's so cute! I guess it's official, he's not my little newborn anymore! At about 9 weeks he started sleeping from 11pm to about 8:30pm, but he got a cold a few days ago and has been waking in the middle of the night for a COUPLE HOURS because he can't breathe very well! Now I'm a little worried that he won't go back to his 9 hour stretch once he's over this cold. I guess we'll see, but I'm exhausted. It would be one thing if he would go back to sleep after nursing him, but instead he wakes and is up for a long time, making me a very tired momma! Besides that, he's really a sweet baby! Very pleasant! I'm so excited to experience all the "firsts" in the months to come! We love you Zeke!

Lovin the things my two year old says...

Last night as we were driving home, stopped at a red light, Clay notices the moon. As soon as the light turns green and we start moving Clay exclaims, "Daddy, the moon is running!" Love that kid!

Zeke's Labor Story

I can't believe our little Zeke is already 8 weeks old! Before any more time flies by I need to write out his labor story! Be forewarned, this is going to be very long with a lot of details! I don't want to forget all the little things which is why I'm writing everything out!
Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was so desperate to have him! Once I hit 37 weeks I was ready to do whatever I could to induce labor! I don't love being pregnant so I was beyond ready to push this baby out and stop waddling around! More importantly, I was having low amniotic fluid towards the end of his pregnancy and had to go twice a week to get it checked. At every appointment there was the potential for the doctor to tell me I needed to be induced immediately (this is what happened with Clay). Plus I had a little bit of high blood pressure, nothing serious, but high enough for them to want to watch me really well. So, needless to say, the end of my pregnancy was extremely stressful and I felt like I was living at the doctors office! I felt like the race was on for me to go into labor on my own before they wanted to induce me! Since I was induced with Clay, I really wanted the experience of just going into labor naturally plus, I just feel like it's just better for things to progress naturally rather than forcing the baby to come before he's ready! (Don't get me wrong, there definitely are good reasons to be induce, like I said, I was induced with Clay and I feel like it was the right decision.) Anyway, like I said I was doing everything in my power to induce labor. I went for walks often, drove in Rob's bumpy truck, sat on a labor ball, etc!
I had been having a TON of braxton hicks that were really painful and were pretty consistent but they would always stop. I was really worried I wouldn't know when I was actually in labor because I would just think it was braxton hicks.
On August 1, 2011 I was having contractions in the morning but they stopped and then would have a few all day long, but really far apart, like 30 min or so. I felt like I was getting really close but had no clue that he was going to be born in only a few hours. I took a nice warm bath that night, trying to relax as much as possible, thinking that it would help me go into labor. Went to bed, but never slept. At midnight I noticed that the contractions were starting to be really strong and coming every 8 to 10 min. I was hoping this was real labor but wasn't really convinced since I had had plenty of braxton hicks that close together but they always stopped. At about 1 am, I'm still in the bed at this point, they were getting really painful and I began to think about the day before and how I was having contractions but they were really far apart and how all day and night they were getting stronger and closer together. I was really thinking this could be it. By 2 am I woke Rob and called my mom and Crystal (my sister in law). I told both my mom and Crystal on the phone that I was so sorry if this is just a false alarm but that I really thought this was it! So, I began to finish packing but could hardly think... It all felt so surreal! Could I really have just gone into labor naturally? Was I about to meet our baby boy?! Because of all that was going on in my body in the past 2 months I had just come to the conclusion that I was going to have to be induced again that that I needed to give up the dream of going into labor on my own. So, it was hard for me to believe that I was really going into labor naturally!
Well, my mom and Crystal arrived at about 2:30 am and I just kept telling them I am sorry if this is a false alarm, but at this point they were coming about every 3 to 5 mins and I couldn't talk while I was having them. They both looked at me and said, "Christina, we don't think this is any false alarm. You look like you're in labor!" So, we called the hospital and they told me to drink a glass of water and wait an hour. So for about half an hour we were all just standing in the kitchen (don't know why the kitchen? all I knew was that it was better for me to stand!) talking in between contractions. At about 3 am they were about every 2 to 3 min apart and were really strong. We all decided it was time to leave. We said good bye to Crystal who was staying with Clay, and my mom, Rob and I left.
We got to labor and delivery at about 3:30 am and they checked me. I was 5 to 6 cm and about 50 % effaced! I was definitely in labor! woohoo! While we were waiting for them to bring me to a room, I was overwhelmed with exhaustion. I hadn't really slept in 2 days (was up the night before with braxton hicks in the middle of the night) and I just remember laying there thinking I was so tired! At about 4:30 am or so they finally got me to the room. As soon as they are trying to hook me up to the machines to watch the baby's heart beat, they were having problems, so more people, doctors, etc. came in the room and I started to get concerned. I thought he was going into distress (this happened with clay and they started preparing me for an emergency c-section. thankfully his heart rate went back up and I was able to have him vaginally.) Well, the doc told me she had to break my water because they had to put internal monitors on the baby and they gave me oxygen. I was getting really concerned, but once they put the monitor on him, he was fine. I think they were freaking out because they couldn't pick up his heart rate with the external monitor. Anyway, I told them I wanted and epidural so I could sleep until it was time! The contractions didn't seem like they were that close together and from what I remember from Clay's labor it felt like one big contraction for a couple hours before I was 10 cm, so I thought for sure I still had hours and hours to go. I just kept thinking it would be nice to sleep for at least 2 to 3 hours! So, they gave me an IV and after about half an hour called for the epidural. The guys came around 5:45 am or so. (I was about 6 to 7 cm at this point) My mom and Rob had to leave while they did the epidural. Well, I don't know who the guy was that was doing my epidural but he was taking FOREVER! He got it in and then had to take it out and do it again. I don't know what was going on but it was making me nervous. I kept asking the guy, is this normal?? Is something wrong? Everyone kept reassuring me everything was fine (all the while I was having to tell them when I was having really bad, had to moan and pray through them kind of contractions, but it still felt like I was having good breaks in between?) My doctor came in and asked what was going on I told her I was exhausted and wanted an epidural so I could sleep. The guy finally gets it in me and tells me it will start to work in the next 5 to 10 mins. My doc says, we really need to check you! She checked and told me "this baby is going to be out in less than 10 mins!" I couldn't believe it! I told the doc to get my mom and husband in here right away! (Mind you, the epidural guy was still in the room waiting for my epidural to start working, that's how fast everything happened) They come in. My doctor tells me to push, and just like that, with one horrible burning push, I was 10 cm. So, here I am with an epidural that hasn't started working yet about to push this baby out. I remember asking my mom and sister in law what it felt like to push without pain killers and they said "oh it feels good to push." I was so surprised because of what I had heard, they said something about a ring of fire, and well, it sounded horrible. Anyway, so with the next contraction my doc had me push twice and out he came! First of all, as I'm about to push, all I remember saying was " It hurts. it really hurts!" I was saying that for a couple of reasons. One I was told it feels good to push (yeah, so not true, at least for me) and remember i had that epidural? Yeah, it didn't start working until my doctor was stitching me up! Glad I got an epidural for 2 stitches!
I couldn't believe that he came so fast! It was only 6 hours of labor and here he was! I was only in the labor room for like an hour and a half! Plus I only had to push twice and out he came! I had to push for an hour before Clay came out! I remember asking my doc at one of my appointments if labor was harder when you are induced compared to going into labor naturally and she said "labor is labor!" OK SO NOT TRUE! Going into labor naturally was WAY BETTER than being induced. That's part of the reason I wanted an epidural, I thought the contractions were going to get horrible with no breaks at all for hours before he came. I couldn't believe that they were still further apart and I was ready to push! Crazy!
One of the things I really didn't like about Clay's delivery is that they took him to the nursery before I really got the chance to nurse him. I had told my doctor about this and she was really apologetic about it (she didn't deliver Clay, the on call doctor did) and said that this experience would be very different! And sure enough she handed Zeke to me right away and told the nurses not to take him until I had the chance to hold him for at least and hour and was able to nurse him! It was great! Zeke took to nursing like a champ and my mom, Rob and I got some quality time with him before he had to go to the nursery. Funny thing, Rob and I had two names picked out but we never decided on which one we wanted to use. Mom had to leave the room while we discussed which name to pick since we might use the other one if we are blessed with another boy. Funny thing is I thought we were going to use the other name, but somehow when we saw him, he looked like an Ezekiel instead! Ezekiel means "strengthened by God" which is one of the reasons we loved the name so much! And that was that. He was Ezekiel Scott Johnson!
We didn't get to the room I would be staying at til about 8 or 8:30 and at about 10 am Clay arrived to meet his baby brother! I couldn't believe how fast everything happened! Clay of course wanted to hold Zeke right away! There was one point when we asked him where his baby brother was and he pointed to my tummy. So I think it took him a little bit to understand that Zeke was his baby brother! The rest of our hospital stay was full of family and friends coming to meet our little Zeke!
Another nice surprise was how great I felt after having Zeke! What a difference from the recovery from Clay's labor! So, I only stayed in the hospital one night and was able to come home the next day!
Zeke we are so thankful that you are a part of our family! You are an adorable baby who we love dearly! We can't wait to get to know you and love you more in the years to come!